Lack Of Self-Love At Root Cause Of Addiction

Whether it’s shopping, food, television, work, the internet, drugs, sex, gambling, exercise, or smoking—we can’t say no to when we know we should—we are addicted.

Eventually these actions and patterns negatively impact our life because anything with that much control over our behavior takes away our power. We’re unable to choose not having or doing what it is we’re addicted to, and we’re no longer consciously aware we have a choice.

Perhaps the reason why society has, for the most part, become more compassionate towards those who suffer greatly from their addictions is we recognize the illness in ourselves. It may not be to the same degree but it’s an addiction nonetheless. Those who haven’t faced their own complicity in addiction will condemn, judge and want to separate themselves from the drug addict or other they find disagreeable.

We live in times of overabundance and overindulgence. There’s overabundance of food and alcohol at our disposal, a saturation of information on the internet for whatever our fancy is, endless television channels, and life is one constant want after another being filled. It is so very easy to become addicted.

Dopamine—a neurotransmitter made in our brain—is involved with incentive, motivation, vitality and excitement. Key in feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, it affects our mood, and is at play in feelings of reward and reinforcement. We use this in animal training. It works the same way with humans. We don’t do much of anything in life without expecting a reward for doing it, in whatever form the reward may come. It could be food, money, a completed task, or simply a feeling of accomplishment.

Addictions affect other brain chemicals including the endorphins—our natural pain killers—that also induce feelings of pleasure and euphoria. Endorphins are involved in feeling love and attachment. These are the chemicals that give people who run or exercise vigorously the “high” they feel afterward.

Dr. Gabor Maté, a medical doctor out of Vancouver, Canada says we need not ask why the addiction, but why the pain? What is a susceptibility factor involved in addiction? It’s wanting to experience love.

The “feel good” circuitry of the brain will not develop properly in children who feel unloved, are abused, abandoned or neglected. We need love and connection when we’re young for these important functions to develop. Addictions are ways people use to get these feelings from outside themselves. The substances and behaviors of avoidance give the addict feelings of normalcy, pain relief, and love. The reference of feeling the semblance of a “hug” after shooting-up drugs has been described by drug addicts.

The temporary feeling of enjoyment brought on by other less damaging addictions are one of the same though. People are trying to fill an emptiness. This is felt at variant degrees.  Hence, the wide range of addictions people struggle with. Addicts are trying to bring a sense of calm—however temporary it is—because underneath the surface there is disharmony and discontent. There’s a want to escape the mind. This escape is found in the moment the feeling of satisfaction is experienced after indulging in whatever the addiction is.

Negative feelings such as shame and guilt often emerge as a result of the addicts satisfying their urges, and will further complicate addictions.  

Children are not only sensitive to their environment, their brains are shaped by it. Traumas, bad experiences and even negative feelings harbored by the parents are absorbed like sponges by their children who’ll consequently feel unloved. With no ability to fully comprehend what is going on, these children may blame themselves and develop feelings of inadequacies. It’s often in such dynamics that issues with self-love are rooted.There’s risk the state of children feeling unloved will be perpetuated through the generations. This is one of the tragic consequences of living in war zones. In other cases, the dysfunction of family units creates addiction casualties, or addictive personalities continue to be emulated.

The science of neuroplasticity shows the capacity of our brain to develop new pathways following injury, or as a result of its adapting to a change in our needs.

Addiction recovery is an area where alternative medicine should play a central role as the whole of a person is considered in treatment. It’s not the problem that needs fixing. Addicts need not only to learn how to conquer their addictions, they have to seek ways to change the way they feel about themselves and their lives. This begins with finding the courage to really look at what they’re trying to avoid facing.

The challenge is to help people find peace within themselves to feel worthy of self-love.

For those battling addictions, there are natural ways to help the body produce the chemicals that bring about good feelings, and to assist us in our journey of healing and self-love.

Some natural ways to boost our dopamine level are:

·       eating proteins such as eggs, nuts, oats, and wheat to produce the amino acid tyrosine used by an enzyme in our body to make dopamine;

·       reducing consumption of saturated fats;

·       consuming probiotics and velvet beans;

·       exercising;

·       getting enough sleep;

·       listening to music;

·       adequate exposure to sunlight; and,

·       supplementing with B6, folate, iron and niacin.

·       meditating;

he endorphins—also known as the happy hormones—can be boosted by sniffing some vanilla or lavender; eating hot peppers, chocolate or other favorite food; consuming ginseng; laughing; going to a group exercise class; having sex; creating music (tap, dance, sing); volunteering; and getting acupuncture.

Research into the effects of pets on our mental health shows profound changes in our brain’s biochemistry.  Interactions with pets is a proven remedy to help people feel better. Petting dogs has been shown to raise levels of the antidepressant neurotransmitter serotonin. Oxytocin, a neuropeptide, is elevated and produces many beneficial physiological changes that calm and inhibit the production of stress hormones.

If we can just take some time and stop for a moment to look at our addictive behaviors, and give ourselves permission to feel the pain we’re trying to cover up, we may be able to release it. Then we’ll be surprised to find we are like everyone else. All we are is love. This is the reason we are here experiencing this life. It’s the energy we must give, and the energy we need to take. Blocks in this flow create imbalances that set us up for not only addictions but physical and mental dis-eases and illness too.

As we become conscious and own our behaviours, we’ll find it’s within that we must look for the solution to the emptiness we feel. It’s not outside ourselves that we’ll find our true worth and love. There is no one or nothing that can do this for us.

When we realize all we need is already inside us, we have no need to fill any emptiness.

Feeling empty is gone. We know love, we are love.

The journey to wellness begins with self-love. For many of us it’s something we need to learn because it wasn’t instilled in us as children. We let go of the need to blame, and we accept our responsibility to ourselves, to others, and all forms of life. We love.