Attachment Is the Source Of All Pain
Photo by Susanne Jutzeler @ Pexels
When I first heard this message coming through, I didn’t fully comprehend the extent of what this all means and how it plays out.
What exactly is an attachment? We could say it is similar to an addiction in that it’s something we hang on to that causes negative effects. We form various types of identification with many attachments. Some attachments give us a false sense of security, and many are distractions.
To find out how attached we are, we start by figuring out what we’re attached to that may be causing us pain. Pain here implies every pain a person experiences, from mental and emotional to physical pain. These all come as the result of attachments.
What attachments do people have?
We cannot help but be attached to physical things as this is what we are in this dimension to experience, the physical world in all its glory through our senses. However, when we let material matter have greater importance in our life, over all other matters such as our health, we risk becoming painfully attached to things outside ourselves. This creates an energetic imbalance that eventually leads to a variety of disempowering symptoms.
People have all kinds of possessions. Some are basic necessities, while others are simply for enjoyment purposes. Physical things we hang on to cause us distress when they misfunction, break, are damaged, or lost. The severity of the distress we experience depends on how we react in these instances and on how attached we are.
Frustration as the result of looking for something misplaced or lost is nearly a given depending on how much time was wasted and how it affected the rest of our day. Too much stuff can create clutter, and even precipitate hoarding tendencies. All these situations affect us mentally, physically, and emotionally.
We are often attached to places as well. It could be where we live, a house, the neighbourhood, the amenities, etc. Attachments with our environment are common. We like things are certain way. When circumstances show up forcing change to what we’re accustomed to, we may feel upset or stressed. Being stuck in traffic due to road maintenance or an accident, is a prime example of unforeseen events that change things up in our environment. Being too attached to the amount of time a particular travel trajectory should take, could cause us more stress than is necessary.
One of the strongest attachments we have is to our beliefs. How does believing in something bring us pain? This depends on what it is we believe. Many of the beliefs we hold are not ours to start with. Age itself conjures up all kinds of attachments we have with set parameters. Hanging on to any belief that disempowers us causes unnecessary pain.
Carrying our wounds as badges thinking they entitle us to better than what brought us the wound in the first place, only attracts more of the same to us. Believing that wearing such labels is part of creating a new reality is false. This is a limiting and disempowering belief. We may listen to individuals who overcame great challenges now speak as motivational speakers or coaches talk about their life stories. However, it’s not the story of their wounds that got them to where they are now, it’s releasing the hold that story had on them. These people only share how they surmounted their personal wound stories once they’ve transformed their wounds. Otherwise, it’s recreating a pattern of victimhood.
A victim mentality is a victim mentality. We can’t form empowering habits and patterns from a disempowered state. Negative patterns are painful attachments we keep to shield us from facing what we need to face, and also to enable us to stay in our comfort zone itself another attachment.
Being attached to people is another source of great pain for people. As innocent as we think it is, and we may think of it as love, it can be stifling and potentially obsessive. We can easily observe attachments within family dynamics when children’s choices are exact to those of their parents, or with siblings who reflect each other. It’s not to say that all these attachments will bring pain. Some relationship attachments complement one another and add value and love to our life. Co-dependent relationships, however, are complicated attachments.
The most painful attachment we hold when it comes to relationships is our expectations. This is how a lot of hurt and pain are claimed. When someone we’re involved/attached to behaves differently than what we expect or want, it potentially creates painful reactions in us. We know—then—we’re called to let go. Either we let go of the expectation that led us to react the way we did, or we let go of the hold the relationship has on us. Obviously, there are relationships we feel we must maintain and it is well to do so, if we can resist our need to control outcomes.
Healthy relationships allow freedom of expression and expansion.
It doesn’t matter the intensity of the pain, whether it is stress or anguish, letting go of attachment is lightening in more ways than one.